As I write this I am sitting at a hotel in San Diego with my husband. In the room next to us is his parents. We just concluded a fun yet exhausting day at the San Diego Zoo and yesterday was a fun yet exhausting day at Cabrillo Beach back home. I have been ruminating on two omen drawings and a curious meditation walk.
So on Monday I called upon Artio to offer inspiration following my peculiar meditation journey up the tree-lined slope that rose up out of my mental grove. I could not get over the other side of that slope because I felt too small and I could not reach over the top. When I asked Artio if I was supposed to see the other side she told me that I was uncertain so I should go spend some energy and have a good time at the beach on Tuesday.
So the next day we got up and went out to Cabrillo. I wanted to make a strong effort to be comfortable on the beach, to be welcoming to the ocean and truly reach out to Nehalennia and ask for her to join me. I found a place of beautiful quiet as my family meandered here and there. I took my shoes off and… Just bliss. Feeling the sand rising between my toes, surrounding my bare feet… The cold ocean waters rising to meet me, the foam kissing them before pulling away. It all suddenly felt right. I spoke to the horizon, spoke from the heart about my longing for the woods (pining for the pines if you will) and how I’ve had a home within walking distance of the ocean for a decade and never really made an effort to make the ocean a home as well. I opened my heart to the ocean, to the guardian of the fleet, the keeper of the hound.
I felt comfortable on the shore for the first time. I craved the waters to surround me more and more. The tide came up higher around my ankles as I walked the sand. It was so cold. It just felt wonderful. The cold became a bit too intense the longer they were submerged but then the waters would recede and the warmth would return. I enjoyed this cycle for some time and eventually noticed a peculiar stone embedded in the damp sand. It was almost perfectly square, very flat, with a series of clam bored holes along one side. From one corner to another was a set of three pits, then a single pit, then a barely started pit. It was a peculiar shape with a peculiar sequence of natural markings. It was a warm and wonderful gift and it filled my heart with warmth.
This morning before we left on our journey I called to Nehalennia for the first time at my altar. I called out to her, welcomed her to join our home, and asked for her to guide and protect us on our journey south. When it came time for omens I, again, called to her. The runes sloshed, undulated (not unlike water!) between my fingers and then two rose up:
Sowilo – The Sun
Eihwaz – The Yew
With the sureness of the sun and the defense of the yew I heard Nehalennia reassure me: “Have faith in my protection.” and so I kept her cool waves flowing in my heart all day.
It feels wonderful and ‘right’ to speak with Nehalennia now. I’m not sure if this means a third Goddess will take a place on my altar but, for now, I welcome Her presence and have a great deal of love for Her.
At any rate our journey was pleasant and safe and the stone sitting on my altar at home is so beautiful. I hope to have her guide us home tomorrow afternoon and… We’ll see where this relationship goes, I suppose.