Yesterday my rune read spoke of an intense change leading into another change. Hagalaz rides toward Daguz. I thought on it for a time, then I started my day at work.
I hadn’t even quite committed to my conscious brain that my cane was with me yesterday, as it is again today. It is a thing that I now, thinking specifically on it, was difficult to find yesterday morning because I hadn’t used it in so very long. I needed it, though. I needed it because my primary work location, that I’ve been at almost exclusively since I returned from disability, was closed for refurbishment and thus I was temporarily relocated to another duty that I had been trained for.
I’ve participated in this alternate location from time to time in the past, a little here or there, bit never very intensely or for very long days. This past week has been full 8 hour days and, largely, very busy and fast paced… And because I am who I am and I have my auto-pilot mode, I go in full steam every time… Until I can’t.
As the week drew on I found myself stiff, achy, in pain. It grew day upon day,with recent evenings relegated exclusively to just lying down so I could get up to do it again. The pain was not the worst of it, though. The real heartbreak was that, prior to this week’s trials, I was seriously considering moving back up to heavier duty. I thought that I was improving nicely, getting a lot more strength in my leg. It was time to move back up to the big leagues. Last night as I slowly made my way home, leaning hard on the cane, I began to cry as expectation was gnashed at by reality.
So here I am, caught in the hailstorm, seeking shelter. It’s definitely a change in plans. In a way I’m glad for this hardship as it helped guide me away from making a potential mistake. It’s caused me to realize where I am in regards to my physical damage and my work place in a more direct and tested way. It reduces my options for certain but fewer opportunities do not necessarily imply lesser opportunity.