Another late night at the altar. Another late night meditation with the Goddesses.
I held the ironwood bear in my hands, threading my thumbs between it’s paws. I could feel my heartbeat throbbing into her. I entered my mental grove, that leg of the Kayaderosseras behind my childhood home. I approached the creek through the darkness. Artio appeared, sitting in the water with Her bear children. They all sat too, being stroked by Her, watching me slowly approach.
Then a burst of tall grass and I looked right to be rushed by another young cub. They stampeded past me and pushed me forward, away from Artio, to the right, towards darker, thicker trees. I found myself at a little stone pedestal on which sat Nantosuelta. She kneeled briefly to lay down a small stone bowl full of sweet fluid which I lowered my head and I drank from. She placed another down but this time, as I drank, I was a bear. She placed a third, which was quite large, and I drank with a little more effort this time. I felt sated and tired and so I let my head rest in the empty bowl. Nantosuelta stroked my head. I turned and rested my head upon her lap, looking up at the sky as it turned darker and then grey. It turned to a snowy, thick grey and it became colder but not intensely so. I sensed Grandmother’s eye coming upon me. That storm of memory, in the blizzard and the grey ursine silhouette.
I felt the heartbeat returning in my thumbs, the ironwood bear became solid in my hands again and I awoke.
Tonight I gave offerings of water to drink and asked the Ancestors, Nature Spirits, and Shining Ones all to sit with me tonight and just… Be with me. In the grove within they surely did. Instead of Artio granting me her touch tonight, though, I had the pleasure of laying with Nantosuelta and her cool, healing touch. I even caught a glimpse of Grandmother’s storm. Let this mean the end of this wretched illness. I’ve coughed and sniffled enough this past week to last me the rest of the year, thank you very much.
Now it is 2:30 am and I really, really need to lay down my head.