Morning Runes 9/19/16

Before I trekked off to work today I sat down briefly at the altar and asked Grandmother to show me guidance. I reached in for a single rune but found myself drawing up a pair.

Sowilo stood out, face up, shining right before me. The sun. Warmth, strength, promise, cycles.

Hagalaz, too was there. Face down. The rune for Hail. Destruction.

Be resolute in your agreements. Do not break them. That is the simple tale the runes told me.

I have many promises I have made with myself and with others to better my future days. To better us all. It is ever easy for me to trip and fall into complacency and poor behavior and not only am I made to suffer, but it surely wounds those close to me as well.

It all sounds like a very gramma thing to say, all told.

Meditation At The Altar – 9/19/16

Another late night at the altar. Another late night meditation with the Goddesses.

I held the ironwood bear in my hands, threading my thumbs between it’s paws. I could feel my heartbeat throbbing into her. I entered my mental grove, that leg of the Kayaderosseras behind my childhood home. I approached the creek through the darkness. Artio appeared, sitting in the water with Her bear children. They all sat too, being stroked by Her, watching me slowly approach.

Then a burst of tall grass and I looked right to be rushed by another young cub. They stampeded past me and pushed me forward, away from Artio, to the right, towards darker, thicker trees. I found myself at a little stone pedestal on which sat Nantosuelta. She kneeled briefly to lay down a small stone bowl full of sweet fluid which I lowered my head and I drank from. She placed another down but this time, as I drank, I was a bear. She placed a third, which was quite large, and I drank with a little more effort this time. I felt sated and tired and so I let my head rest in the empty bowl. Nantosuelta stroked my head. I turned and rested my head upon her lap, looking up at the sky as it turned darker and then grey. It turned to a snowy, thick grey and it became colder but not intensely so. I sensed Grandmother’s eye coming upon me. That storm of memory, in the blizzard and the grey ursine silhouette.

I felt the heartbeat returning in my thumbs, the ironwood bear became solid in my hands again and I awoke.

Tonight I gave offerings of water to drink and asked the Ancestors, Nature Spirits, and Shining Ones all to sit with me tonight and just… Be with me. In the grove within they surely did. Instead of Artio granting me her touch tonight, though, I had the pleasure of laying with Nantosuelta and her cool, healing touch. I even caught a glimpse of Grandmother’s storm. Let this mean the end of this wretched illness. I’ve coughed and sniffled enough this past week to last me the rest of the year, thank you very much.

Now it is 2:30 am and I really, really need to lay down my head.

Alban Elfed With Raven’s Cry

Last night I visited my local ADF Grove, Raven’s Cry, to celebrate the turning of Summer into Autumn. The rite was done in a Welsh style and the celebrants were largely newer members. Bless their hearts, the rite mostly went off without a hitch despite having to deal with a lack of vowels in many phrases.

I had brought specific offerings to the ritual this time: The remnants of the very first candle I burned at my altar and a branch gifted to me from the sitting tree in my local park. As I wished to give my thanks for the bounty I have come into this year I saw both fitting gifts for my Patronesses and my Grandmother, respectively.

On that note when it came to make personal offerings I went straight to the cauldron and… Let’s just say I hadn’t had a good cry in a very long time. I sat on my knees, holding that branch to my head, for what felt like fifteen minutes. I could feel her arms around me. I could see her face again. I could see the pawprints shrinking into the horizon. That silver silhouette in a gray blizzard. That beautiful, wise bear. I know she loved that gorgeous branch. Now we both have beautiful sticks we can share together.

As mentioned last night we received some omens that felt very personal to me. When asked, the Ancestors spoke of binding together and showing love to each other. The Nature Spirits pretty much jutted a thumb to one side and said “Do what they said.” and the Shining Ones said to look within for wisdom and strength that lies hidden.

The strong indication to follow my Ancestors and the final omen of the silver fur… It was so very personal. I was so moved to feel so close to Grandmother once more. It had not been since that dream so long ago that I felt her presence so strongly.

So here we are. The daylight fades to give way to the night. Truth be told I’m not a big fan of summer. I find the summer to be at best too hot and dry and at worst completely miserable. I don’t ever wish to sound ungrateful to Belenus and all the goodness He showers down upon us but, man… Summer. Autumn and Winter though? Sign me up. And don’t get me started on Springtime. Spring and Autumn both make me wish I could actually transform into a bear and just splay myself, naked in my fur, in the leaves and grass. Hell… What I’d pay right now to lie in my skivvies in a rolling stream.

Perhaps this Autumn I’ll finally start all that baking I keep thinking about. The spirit of the mother has been eking into me lately and I’ve been eager to light the oven and bake some breads and cakes with that particular scent of the season billowing out.

Looking back on what I’ve reaped and what I could do to sow better in the coming months? Since I started my journey of Druidry earlier this year I’ve made some wonderful friends in The Swamp Druid and Grey Catsidhe. I’ve grown quite a bit, though not as much as I imagined I might… But hey, any growth from zero is a monumental percentage! I found and have been visiting a local ADF Grove and I found a home amongst a hearth culture I love learning about and living with. Areas I need to improve in are definitely confidence and trust in my instincts, balancing leisure with study and finding more time to study and grow with my practice, and showing love and appreciation for the people in my life far more. My biggest failure has always been lowering my head and charging full speed into one or two things at a time and it’s far too easy for me to put on blinders while doing so. I need to establish balance between the leisure I enjoy, my relationships with the Kindreds and my family/friends, and the work I do both at my job and in studying to better know the Gods.

But now the night grows long and I really need to get some sleep. I’ve been sick varying little bits all week and I want this week to be the end of it, damn it.

To all who support me and put me in prayer and thought, I thank you. Your support has kept me going all these months. I hope we can all grow into the new year together!

Alban Elfed and The Exhausted Bear

Tonight was my local Grove’s fall equinox celebration. I fully intend to write all about it but tonight I am simply wiped. It was an intense experience for me and I’m still a wee bit on the sick side so I’m just… I’m a puddle of cub right now. Sticks has fallen down.

I’d like to share, before I pass out completely (and partially for my own memory’s sake) that the omens given tonight were stunning. The mighty dead told us to bind together with those around, show them love and recieve their love. The earth spirits told us to do what our ancestors just said. The shining ones brought us the silver fur.Wisdom hidden within. For me, however, the signs could not have been more apt. On the anniversary of grandmother’s death… Five years since… What a long journey I’d traveled since that vision of the bear in the blizzard… The pawprints stretching into the gray haze. Follow the dead and look to the silver fur.

I feel so… Blessed. Blessed and tired.

I love you so much, all my mothers. Grandmother… Thank you for taking my paw in yours then, now, and tomorrow.

 

Late Night Rune Reading 9/5/2016

Tonight I felt called to the altar, so I lit the fire, filled the well, and made my offerings of water, stone, and word to my great mothers. I thanked them for their guidance and blessings from the week prior and asked for guidance for the week to come, reaching into the bag of runes until the feeling was right and cast them onto the altar…

Together in a bunch I saw:
Naudiz – Need; opression, lessons learned
Isa – Ice; beautiful and dangerous
Tiwaz – Tir; guidance, justice, navigation
Ingwaz – Ing; fertility, ancestors

Together elsewhere lie:
Perpo – Dice cup, vulva; joy, uncertainty
Mannaz – Man; self, mortality, orlog, kinship

And by itself off to the side:
Ehwaz – Horse; pleasant travel, help

Calm yourself. Focus. Be still and accept guidance from your ancestors. They have something to teach you.

You may encounter uncertain thoughts and feelings but rest assured it is the blood of your ancestors within you.

Your journeys this week will be light and joyous.

Interesting omens to start my week on. Pleasant and curious. My favorite kind!