I’ve just awoken from a dream.
I was walking through a shopping mall with someone who was close to me, a friend, but I could not name them nor place their face. We walked together through this indoor mall, passing several stores along the way (One of them was a Sears) and we eventually stopped in a little shop with an open storefront that was selling sports hats. My partner stopped to look at some hats with the intent to buy while I grazed around, looking at merchandise casually.
Signs in the store were telling me that opening day was April 7th and I was then inspired to pick a hat for a team I liked. I then came across a little display of inexpensive mass-produced talisman necklaces. I remember them being noted as “Celtic”. Intrigued I began looking through them with the intent of finding a symbol to wear for my patrons.
Then I woke up!
Last night as I performed my evening ritual and had a sit down with my patrons I asked if my offerings had been to their liking. The answer I got was a pretty strong no. It was disheartening, no lie, but at least I got a swift and honest answer. I was then told to turn towards friends and family. I intuited this as asking my Druid mentors for advice but also, I feel, it was a word to pay some more attention to my immediate family. Too frequently I have been letting myself become absorbed in matters that take time away from my household. The mixed feelings that storm inside me when I dedicate hours daily to an MMO on my computer do well to communicate that something is wrong but yet the draw is there and I go back. That is time I enjoy but time is still limited and so I’m left with less. Less to clean the house, less to tell my family I love them, less to spend sitting quietly with my partner Goddesses.
In the coming days I will change my routine to better serve this house, to better honor Artio and Nantosuelta for their strength and healing that they have bestowed on me these many weeks. I was looking in that store for an icon, a symbol to wear to show my love. Perhaps that, too, will come, but I can temper my heart for Them here without a need to go shopping.