Will be taking a break for a bit while I spend a little time in the desert enjoying cacti and howling spirits. See you folks in a few weeks!
Who? Who? Who could it be?
Owl is a card I don’t think I’ve actually pulled before, yet She seems very familiar. It’s another one of those beautifully simple Oracle cards with a tawny owl perched in a thick tangle of woodland, the full moon glowing through a clearing in the branches. Trinkets hang nearby, one depicting the spiral of the well.
When I think Owl I think nocturnal, predatory, wise, and keen-eyed. Owl is very nearly from a different place entirely, able to see the world of darkness as if in light. While other creatures scurry and feel hesitantly The Owl perches above all, seeing and knowing with perfect clarity.
I read Owl as a message to be patient and see. See with the eyes and the spirit. Peer deep into the dark places and know what is there and decide carefully. Is it time to swoop now? Shall we wait and see what else comes? Owl knows and so shall we when Owl we embrace.
I’m quickly finding myself overwhelmed by the rapid passage of time this year. I’ve fallen way behind in writing for the Dedicant Path coursework, I’ve yet to do anything in terms of writing regarding Imbolc or my powerful visitations with Brigantia or any of the majorly huge things that have happened in my spiritual life lately.
I feel like the cosmos keep putting beautiful, bespoke dishes in my arms, one after another, and as I stumble forward the mountain begins to teeter. All I need to do is step aside and put some of these bowls on the shelf… But just as arms reach to pull me aside, to sort things out, other arms push and push me forward.
Everything truly does come down to balance at the end. That pesky, pesky balance.
If it’s not raining too bad tomorrow I’ll bring my iPad to work and maybe catch up on some writing before my shift.
At least I got to briefly sit with Brigantia again today. I wanted to say hello and She pulled up some runes for me. Gebo and Dagaz. Tomorrow ought to be fun!
Following my exhausting illness and equally exhausting recovery (as well as work and DP catch-up) the blog will be taking a break for a bit. I need a little time to rest, recuperate, and explore this new and sudden bond with Brigantia that has been burning on the edge of my life.
Hoping to be back soon with my forge rekindled.
Man. I love seeing this beautiful beast.
This morning is the first time I’ve seen Horse gallop out of the Oracle deck. It is an amazingly beautiful image, showing the gorgeous creature bounding through sun bathed hills. There is so much beauty, energy, and potential in this card. It’s warm and kinetic.
Horse speaks of wild freedom and exploration. Horse speaks of doing that thing. You know that thing you keep not finding time for? It’s time to go. Horse speaks of journeying. Go forward or backward or sideways. Just go! Embrace those new feelings and ride them!
Horse is a symbol I’ve seen more often in my work with the Elder Futhark. Ehwaz often speaks of easy, comfortable travel. It’s a rune I love seeing because who doesn’t love a nice trip?
As far as Horse applies to me today, I feel it’s a green light for my journey to visit Damh. Plans, preparation, over preparation, fear, excitement, nerves, poor timing… Any number of things have swarmed around this “to-do” and today has so many things converging on top of this message that Horse is rearing up and bounding in shapely circles to beckon me on.
So that’s tonight, then. As the earth, moon, and sun find themselves align, as we find the glittering lights in the sky racing by, I make a place, I swing a leg over the horse and ride through the black knot and see if I emerge in that same empty sea. I won’t run this time. This time I have antlers of my own.
Bright and early I rose this morning. It was the dawn of a day with a lot of emotion tied into it. Dear friends we’re going through fear and pain and excitement and healing, I found myself lost in a sea of worry around my Dedicant study with a map-in-bottle bobbing toward me, and I arose with contemplation over dreams, earlier omens, and my relationships with the Gods over the past year.
Such a feeling washes (hah) over me with this card. The serpent looks suspicious, sad. It emerges from the sea foam, still dripping. It looks to me as if it knows their time is ending. The waters are gray. The sky is gray. All is silver and morose.
When I first started exploring a relationship with the gods my mentor led me to Artio. I was immediately struck by her majesty. I love bears and their image is strong in my heart. I was visited by a bear in a vision many years ago, a vision that led me to seek a faith practice once more. My love for Artio still feels as strong as ever. Visions of Raven and a whole lot of bird houses led me to discover Nantosuelta later on, which in turn led me to discovering my Grove of Raven’s Cry.
Then came emotions over a loss of nature. They’d always been inside me, waxing and waning, but my stronger connection to more Druid friends (particularly back east) made me long deeply for the brooks and forests of my youth. I whined and envied all the while having spent a decade of my life with the sunny shores of Southern California literally a walk down the street. So I made a real effort, a strong pledge to seek out a Goddess of the sea who struck my eye. I sought out Nehalennia and opened my heart to her. I recieved a stone and I devoted a lantern to her, the lantern taking the role of my hearth fire at the altar, out of necessity.
My mentor cautioned me, in one of many emotional tangles, that relationships with the Gods are fluid. They are just like mortal relationships. They may come and bond with you for life, they may arrive to teach a lesson or pass a warning and that’s it. To be honest, the idea of saying goodbye to any of the Goddesses I have spoken to and made offering to is heartbreaking. It saddens me.
Very recently I was called to act in the role of my Grove’s membership to give offering to the Shining Ones during Imbolc. As it was to be my first performance at a public ritual I made a strong effort to meet with Brighid, as we would be working with Her primarily during the rite. What resulted was an intense and vivid meditation, an omen guided by Her, and an unforgettable Imbolc followed shortly by great blessings flowing from Her grace. I was stunned. I didn’t know what I could possibly do to thank Her. I made a huge offering during a long personal ritual at home and have been thinking on Her since, the change She has brought to our family so powerful that it stands as a trinket itself to remind me of the promise I made.
While I know there is not a rule pertaining to the number of Gods one can worship upon ones altar, I am left this morning feeling that Nehalennia has left me a stepping stone and is a guiding hand forward. My outpouring of love for Her did not go unnoticed but She shows no sign of wishing to wed. I am a little saddened, but I also fully understand. And as I type this out I feel that I truly mean that. I’m not just “saying that” because it’s right to do so.
But the sadness still lingers and it makes me think about the potential for more separation. I have all these icons on my altar for Artio and Nantosuelta. I have the lovely lantern at the center of my altar, an icon for a Goddess who is no less important than any other but does not share the bond I share with others. The thought of having these physical reminders, honestly, makes me sad. If Artio took Her leave what would I do with the little ironwood bear carving? Would I put it away? Would I get rid of it somewhere? Would I just leave it there? These are questions I can’t honestly answer right now.
But as I see that serpent, sad and gray amongst a turbulent and muted sea, I realize that sorrow and sadness is a reality. It’s inevitable. The Water Dragon reminds us that we must embrace the sorrow as it comes, but know it. Be patient as one can and let the sorrow emerge slowly and carefully. Do now rip the arrowhead from your skin but push it slowly through. Feel the pain and know where it comes from, know what it means, and when the sorrow emerges fully and when it is slain watch where it’s bones fall. Seek out the broken remains of that sadness and see what fruit they bear. Sorrow is not merely a poor beast meant to be feared, it is a journey with potential for great reward should you see all of it’s gray scales and it’s haunting stare and understand.
Now I face an emotion I’ve not felt since meeting Artio… Perhaps moreso. Brigantia. Bright Brighid of the forge. She has come into my life with such fire. I feel such a warm sensation whenever I look on an image of Her. It’s easy for me to say “Yeah! Brigantia! Take me under your wing! Let us forge an eternal bond!” but that is my beastly heart rushing on.
Still though I cannot help but think of Her constantly. Perhaps the stone from Nehalennia was indeed a pathway to Brigantia. Perhaps it is a foundation meant to support an anvil with a heart of flame.
I’ve heard many guiding tales about divination, about taking Omens. It is easy for many to look at the practice and assume it is a tool for predicting the future. I fear it is often far too easy even for me, who has been taught and cautioned to not lean on an Omen as foresight of things to come. It is one of many weaknesses in my practice I seek to overcome and seeing Sow here, reversed, is a sobering reminder.
The importance of divination has been expressed to me as a deeper examination of the self and of the present time. Imagine you’re floating down a deep river. You have a memory of where you’ve been, you can certainly see a ways down, and you have an idea of what’s immediately around, above and below, as well as where you intend to go. Taking an omen is like emitting a spherical pulse of seeing light. It extends around you not only at the level you are, but in the depths below and the sky above. It reveals things that are, things you might not be able to see or hear or feel.
That is not to say such vision cannot guide you forward, nor provide insight on the past. You might detect a deep current that signals a drop or fork in the river. You might hear animals scurrying or flying back to where you once were, indicating a change made or a discovery unearthed.
Sow reminds me that I am a glutton. I am a glutton with a well meaning boat and a faulty sail. I fall into traps of self abuse. I sit in a field abundant with food and yet I still whine and yearn for the teat. I seek it because it is comfortable and I seek it because it is a habit, but I leave such bounty unattended that was grown, given to, and hoarded by me. And the worst of it all is that I still crave larger, fuller fields while straining to sup at the breast.
It is my shame and how often have I meant to wean myself away. Perhaps putting a face to the vice will finally guide me onward.